Big life choices

Dear blog,

   Remember when we were little and adults used to tell us to "dream big"? Well then you turn 18 and realize you're graduating high school and you have college mission friends boys family jobs and
everything else in between to think about. Yup, you realize you're an adult. Well this year all that
dreaming big hit me like a brick wall. My dreams, my hopes and wants are right at my finger tips!
   So many decision to make. Thats the world today. Its sometimes a seemingly overwhelming world that we live in. But! When we take moments to pray, to ponder and to search, the world gets a whole lot simpler.
   Throughout my life the gospel has been able to teach me to make decisions. Every day. With my future so close, I have come to realize how my small and simple daily decisions affect my big decisions. Heavenly Father has been mindful of my needs and desires. As I have been studying the book of Mormon in seminary, I came across a prophet that helped me. The brother of Jared. The brother of Jared was commanded by God to build eight ships to sail across the sea, to the promised land. The brother of Jared began to build these ships with instruction given by the Lord. He then went to the Lord and asked him how would his people breath in the ships? The Lord commanded that he put a hole in the top of the ship as well as the bottom, then make a stopper for the hole so water would not come in. The brother of Jared realized he had yet another problem with these ships. How would he steer? The Lord told the Brother of Jared to not worry about steering, the Lord would command the winds to steer them to the promised land. Finally the Brother of Jared came to the Lord with his final question, how would his people see in these ships? The Lord did something unexpected, he asked the Brother of Jared to come up with his own solution then to bring it back to the Lord. So he did. He asked the Lord humbly to touch sixteen stones with his hand to provide light. The Lord was so impressed with the Brother of Jared's faith, that he did.
   The Lord teaches often times in three ways; first he provides "instructions", second he guides us, third he lets us make our own choices. The Lord sure let me experience all three of these. With much fasting and prayer I decided my job, college, and mission. Soon I will be able to start my mission papers! And I'm going to! I'm so excited. When it comes to college I will start at the U of U when I return home from my mission. And I know have a good stable job to help save money for both college and a mission.
   The Lord listens, and when we exercise faith (little or big), he answers. It may not be when or how we expect. But he ALWAYS answers. "Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you." -Matthew 7:7.

Silence, listening, looking

Dear Blog,

   Oh man. I have ignored you for so long. Why? Well.. I've been wondering that myself lately. I guess its because I have't had much to say.
I've changed a lot since the last time I posted something on here. A lot in my life has changed, and thats ok! It took me a long time to accept that change, and be ok with it. Hence, why I have not written.
   My house is oh so silent today, and that silence gets my brain thinking. Thinking about life, my goals, my expectations for me and those around me, life, boys, life, friends, future. My brain is just racked with thoughts. It's over whelming sometimes.

  Then I remember. Oh how I remember to stop, take a deep breath and look up. The silence of my home, lets me listen.

Listen deeply.
He hears me.

   He listens to all those thoughts running through me. And he cares. He knows how it makes me feel. He knows the heartache I feel and he loves me, he understands when even I have a hard time gaining that understanding.
In Alma 22-26 we were talking about how they buried their swords and weapons of war. I was asked a question that I pondered for a long time. What is a weapon I need to burry deep? I thought hard about this. I decided my weapon I need to burry deep down in the ground is my lack of faith.
Faith is one of my biggest struggles. Not lack of love or caring. Its faith. Faith that he does in fact hear my prayers and hear the pleadings of my heart.

   When life gets tough, its important to remember. Remember who we are. Where we came from. Where we are going. And how to get through the time in between. Pray. Read. Listen. Be worthy. This is how we gain faith, we trust in that faith and make it through. I love him. I love him with all my heart and soul and I trust in his plan for me. His plan for me has never been the same as my plan. Sometimes that bring me great joy! Other times it tries my faith. Don't give up. Its easy to fall and hard to get up sometimes. But look up, because he is there to lift you. As he does for me :)
I love you, and I will try to keep blogging more often!

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.” 
― Mary Anne Radmacher